My Secret Husband | Vogue [Video]

We handle the divergence with grace. I’m content to post solo shots of my vintage looks, while he’s mastered the anti-photobomb—a nimble disappearing act at the sight of a BFA photographer when he attends fashion events with me. If they catch him, he’s been known to give alternate spellings of his name.

Our memories end up seen by family and friends via text message. Or, more sweetly, texted to me at random when I least expect it. “Have a good day! Remember our trip to Santa Barbara?” And while this was not his intent, his approach has had an unexpected impact helping me draw some important lines. My marriage isn’t content; a large part of my life gets to remain my own.

But here’s where things get a little thorny; in trying not to bring attention to him, I’ve unintentionally brought attention to him. To those who don’t know him, …